lima bean

hi friends,

we left lima on thursday and made the long bus trek to chimbote! so now we are just beginning to settle in, discover the city, and attempting to normalize life a little. here are some initial thoughts--

• this is a dusty, dusty city, and i will never feel clean again.
• i have never felt so welcomed by strangers.
• spanish is hard, and i feel like i'm in a bubble sometimes. but i am finding a little comfort in knowing that language is only one means of communication.
• i am finding myself struggling with the lack of control, so when i find tiny things i can control (like putting my clothes on hangers, as silly as it sounds), i am awed.
• i never thought i would be singing in a peruvian youth choir, but by chance (and a little language misunderstanding), todd, jane, julie and i all ended up performing at a concierto last night with one of the parish coros!!! it was hilarious, but fun to jump right in and be a part of something.
• i have not seen much yet, but i already know that the poverty here is more than i ever anticipated...
• i spent one day with hospice workers, and have never seen people in worse shape--by far the worst bed sores i have ever seen on persons who have been neglected. a simple lack of resources and healthcare that has cost many their dignity.
• as hard as adjusting is, i am finding comfort in small things, and trying to remember to breathe and take it all in...
• I HAVE A NEW NAME!!!! i tried out a few different ones, and nothing felt right. then, it finally came to me one day, peruvians can actually pronounce it, and it seems to fit me--corina. nice, eh?

thanks for the prayers, emails, thoughts, support!

besitos,

cj

good news, bad news

the good news--i have arrived in lima, and the actual travelling part was not bad at all!

the bad news--we hit torrential rains in panama and EVERYTHING i own is soaked and will certainly not dry for, oh i don´t know, at least a month. ah well, i guess the rain (plus jane´s missing suitcase) are just sweet reminders of what it means to be living simply...and travelling in south america

although we were all exhausted from travelling, today was marvelous. here are some highlights:

• sleeping in for the first time in 3 weeks
• the wonder that is lima
• learning about peru´s recent, brutal history, which we unfortunately never hear about in the states. did you know that over 69,000 people died due to terrorist and military action between 1980-2000? me neither. it´s ridiculous what we fail to hear in world news...
• speaking spanish (or at least listening attentively and then nodding my head, as if i understood everything)
• the best seafood in the world

anyway, all is well in the southern hemisphere...basically a lot of excitment (punctuated by moments of two years? seriously? can i go two years without hot showers and real coffee?)

i think i can i think i can i think i can...

the last goodbyes...

i find myself needing to take a deep breath, and then dive into the next step, headfirst. these have been some of the most challenging weeks of my life, but also some of the most rewarding, and i know this is barely the beginning.

today, as my sister and mom drove off, i was hit in the gut with the impact of what tomorrow will bring. i handed over my cell phone and said goodbye, and in that moment, i realized that it was symbolic of the huge changes that are coming, perhaps faster than i would like...i am being stripped of everything i know (as my friend heidi says, stripped bare), and jumping into a world of unknowns, lack of control, and simple trust. it feels like the first time i went scuba diving--even though i had been prepared and had some notions of what to expect, the hardest part was the moment that i had to slide off the boat, back-first and without looking, into a sea of unknowns, and just trust. and now i relive the feelings of just having enough courage to get out of the boat, and let god explode my every expectation...

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JUMP!!!!

incarnational what?!

**note: click on bold words for more information**

okay, i know what you're thinking..."it's friday night and everyone's out having fun, and cj's sitting in a dorm room thinking about incarnational spirituality and social analysis?!" true. it's been a challenging week. so, here are my scattered thoughts on incarnational spirituality (don't let that scare you, i'll try to keep it interesting!!)...

i admit that i was a bit hesitant to apply to a program called "incarnate word missionaries." for a long time i told people i was volunteering with the sisters of charity. true, yes, but the full name is the congregation of the sisters of charity of the incarnate word. that's a lot of big scary words with some (perhaps unfortunately deserved) implications and attached stigma. i just want to serve in love, not preach. well, i am slowly learning that this is the exact spirit of incarnational spirituality. let me break it down for you.

"incarnation" literally means embodied in flesh. the word became flesh and made his dwelling among us (john 1:14). "the incarnation"= jesus. simple, right? it is until you consider the fact that "christ has no body now but yours" as teresa of avila says.

so all this to say, we are christ's hands and feet. and that's where it becomes tricky, because it's not in some figurative, symbolic way. the congregation started when bishop dubuis of texas wrote a letter stating "our lord jesus christ, suffering in the persons of a multitude of the sick and infirm of every kind, seeks relief at your hands". the sisters responded, and now lay missionaries can continue in that tradition. our mission statement is as follows:

we, the missionaries, inspired by the charism and mission of the incarnate word, choose to live in community and walk in solidarity with the economically poor and marginalized, in order to be transformed by them and to transform unjust social structures that keep people economically poor and marginalized.

i like how shane claiborne puts it in his book the irresistible revolution (as most of you know, shane is a personal hero of mine. caution: this book will severely disturb one's worldview):

as we practice hospitality, there comes a point where the suffering around us drives us to ask what it would take to reimagine the world. we've all heard the saying "give someone a fish and they'll eat for a day, but teach them to fish and they'll eat for the rest of their life." but our friend john perkins challenges us to go farther. he says "the problem is that nobody is asking who owns the pond." as we consider economics, some of us will give people fish. others will teach people to fish. but still others must be looking at who owns the pond and who polluted it, for these are also essential questions for our survival. we must storm the fence that has been built around the pond and make sure that everyone can get to it, for there are enough fish for all of us.

and this is exactly what motivates me for the challenges ahead...

#2 and a new name

first, a visual review of the week:
the peru girls remember the alamo

peruanas at the riverwalk (jane, me, julie)

chapel of the incarnate word

most of the group--missionaries at a missions game--that's funny!
(the san antonio minor league team)

first week of orientation is officially over, and as we begin our second, i think we can all say that we are officially pooped-out. this past week has been filled with a lot of learning and a lot of fun, but i am definitely looking forward to this week, as we start to discuss issues like cultural reciprocity, latin american reality, social analysis, and of course, the myers-briggs! here are a few highlights of last week:

• the enneagram: for those of you who don't know, the enneagram is a type of personality map. it basically places you in one of nine types, but unlike the myers-briggs, it does not box you in. it is more of a tool to understanding one's own personality and needs. i am thinking i fall most closely in the category of a 2. that explains a lot about me. for more information, and to try to figure out where you fall, check out the link on the right!
• we've been able to get out a little, which is beautiful, but me and some of the girls are feeling a little stir-crazy! there's not much to do in the area, so we have had to be creative in entertaining ourselves and finding ways to escape the "compound" without anything to do nearby and without transportation...makes it tricky.
  
• if anything, this week has calmed some of my fears and made me so excited to actually head out to peru! i am finding that my spirituality mostly falls in line with the peruvian girls as well as the sisters of charity. of course there are differences, but i am feeling much more at ease. i guess i expected a little more friction, being the only non-catholic, but it's actually been great. i've met some really incredible, hard-core nuns, that are clearly super-passionate about making this the best experience possible for us!
• my new name--one concern i had for peru is the fact that my name does not translate to spanish; in fact, nothing comes even close and it's really really difficult to pronounce if spanish is your first language. i'm still trying to work this one out...some of the girls have taken to calling me "coco", which, honestly, doesn't really thrill me. other suggestions have been "coca" (like coca cola), "coqueta" (which means fashionable or flirt-haha), or "cj" (which, obvioulsy is my nickname, but en espanol, it would be pronounced "say-ho-ta"). so i'm taking votes and new suggestions!
• thanks again for all the calls/emails/facebooking! i know it's only been a week, but it feels like a whole lot longer, so it's great to get news from home and still maintain connections. shoot me an email if you want my address, for either here in san an or for peru!

love,
cj

hot hot hot (or cold).

hi friends. i am in san antonio now, and the heat is absolutely BRUTAL. seriously, who lives in texas in august?! but alas, orientation starts tomorrow! i've had fun tonight getting to know the girls, but i'm a little nervous about spending so much time in a classroom...

a few business notes: -if you email me, i will definitely respond (with a little time). but know that i am much more inclined to respond to an already-received email, rather than send one spontaneously. again, my email is: courtneyjcranston@gmail.com
-i have a skype account, so if you want to hear my voice, set one up and we can talk for free! my account name is the same as my email/blog: courtneyjcranston
-i still have my phone, so you can call me in the next 3 weeks!

the last week has been an incredible rush of emotions (to say the least). in the spirit of pure honesty, the following is an excerpt from my journal, as i was writing on the plane ride from chicago to san antonio:
i can't even fathom what is going on within me right now...thank you for making this past week so incredibly overwhelming and for letting me feel perfectly loved and completely known. i have never experienced such genuine love and feelings of worth in such a concentrated amount. right now i am filled with: love, anxiety, joy, confusion, worry, anticipation, and intense loss. all of the comforts i have ever known are being stripped away, or at least, changing in the most unpredictable way. as uncomfortable as this time is, i love that in this heightened emotion i feel fully ALIVE. and i want to savor every hug, every tear, every letter, every laugh, every conversation, and every breath....

and now, a few photo highlights of the past week (in no particular order. thanks, blogger):










ahh, so much love. goodnight.