Thursday, November 27, 2008

to everything, turn, turn, turn

two posts in one month?! i´m getting out of control...

  • my roommates and i are leaving tonight for ecuador! we need to leave the country to pick up our visas. even though we´ll only be gone for about 60 hours (about 40 of which will be on the bus :( ), i am so looking forward to getting outside of chimbote for a little bit. just to be reminded of the world outside of this city. although chimbote is a city that is well-connected to the outside world by buses and boats, it can feel so isolating...
  • it´s so strange to think that i´ve been here long enough to note the changing seasons. just as the holidays role around, and i´m craving the smell of fall and a chill in the air, it´s getting warmer here and the days are getting longer (sunday will be the official start of beach season!). i would be happy if it stayed just like this for a while--a nice spring--hot during the days and cool at night, but all the chimbotanos keep reminding me this is nothing yet. i guess that´s what i get for choosing to live so darn close to the equator.
  • today at work, i was chatting with a patient who was waiting to be seen, as well as with one of the doctors. the patient was asking me all the typical questions (who i am, what i´m doing here, how long, how much i miss things at home, how i learned spanish), when the doctor commented on my language ability. he said i only spoke ¨poco poco¨ castellano when i arrived, but he was impressed with how much i´ve picked up. now, i would like to think i came here with more than ¨poco poco¨ (give me a break!), but it was great to hear that others have noted my improvement. i definitely am finding castellano easier, and it´s so exciting when i have an all-around good communication day! i have yet to have a dream in spanish (which you know i have been waiting for), but several times i´ve woken up thinking in spanish, which is such an encouraging sign! pero, poco a poco.
  • healthcare. ridiculous sometimes. i have had many frustrating days, where i spend hours folding gauze or rolling cotton balls (no, seriously). but those days are punctuated by some really exciting things that i get to do--actually, i´ve had an awesome week at work. i delivered another baby yesterday! and then today i got to suture a guys head! oh yeah.
  • my roommate jane had some visitors here this weekend from the states. we had a great time showing them around and introducing them to all of our friends, but it was so strange to be surrounded by english and gringos again. and it absolutely made me miss my people who know me outside of this context. we went over to our friend alex´s house for a cuyada one night (cuy--guinea pig, remember?), and i was struck with such a weird realization. i am in limbo right now. i am shifting between two worlds, and i´m not exactly sure where i fit anymore. i don´t particularly like the taste of cuy, but it didn´t gross my out to have a little clawed rodent foot on my plate. i didn´t exactly identify with jane´s friends, but then i´m not exactly peruana either. i´m losing parts of my english, but then i struggle with spanish...and as challenging as it is, i just need to take a deep breath, and remind myself of the beauty in this tension.
  • i think this is my first thanksgiving away from my family, and that´s really challenging. i know that the entire holiday season will be really challenging for me, and i realize how much i´ve taken some of those typical comforts for granted. i almost miss the chaos of finals and of end-of-the-year stuff. and christmas carols! it´s so weird that i haven´t already been saturated in christmas music! at home, i refuse to listen to christmas music before thanksgiving, but here, i´ve broken my own rule. there´s something so absolutely comforting in the songs that have literally surrounded me since the day i was born, that i can sing in my sleep, and honestly, just feel like they are a part of me (a sliver of u.s. culture that i am actually missing pretty desperately). i´ve been playing ¨o holy night¨ on my guitar, and everytime i do, it´s like a deep breath of something warm and familiar. so, on this thanksgiving, where i ate ceviche and rice to celebrate, a list of things that i am thankful for in this moment:
  • music that transcends language barriers
  • quiet moments on my roof, usually with a cup of instant coffee
  • heart-to-heart conversations in castellano
  • the resources to choose to do whatever i want to do with my life
  • the ease with which i can travel, just because of the label on my passport
  • knowing that i am loved and known, even from thousands of miles away

what is making your heart glad, right now, in this moment? happy thanksgiving.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

i feel the earth move under my feet

i apologize for my lack of posting, which so many have commented on! honestly, part of it is because things are becomming more and more normal here, so sometimes i feel like there´s not too much new to say. the other part is that everything is still new and different and challenging, and how can i even begin to share my entire world here? i´m finding that many times, words fail to describe life, in english or spanish...

i will attempt a few updates, in bullet-point form.



  • the other day, i had another beautiful ¨this is peru, and i can´t believe this is my new home¨ moment. actually, i have those moments daily,but this one especially struck me. i was walking down the street, headed home after work, and i was overwhelmed with this place. i felt completely awestruck by the fact that i was walking home, down my own block on a beautifulspring day, and it felt pretty normal. the sun was shining, there was a light breeze, and the dust had somehow miraculously stopped blowing everywhere for a second. i was taking everything in, enjoying every color and sound, and even the rubble that i was walking through. and then i saw it...a man, about 50 feet away walking around the corner, pulling with all his strength a 30 foot rope. i stop for a second, wondering what it could be that he´s pulling on the other end of the rope, and out walks a full-size bull, tied by the horns. and this man is just taking him for a walk down the street...
  • i had my first performance with the band! we sang for todd´s birthday party, and it was awesome--we had an enormous sound-system set up in our back yard, full band, and we rocked out! todd requested some good old fashioned rock & roll for the party, so everything was in english, but next concert will have to be all castellano! it has been such a joy to be able to sing here--i can honestly say that my soul flies when i sing at the top of my lungs, especially in spanish. it has been the most beautiful constant for me here, and much needed source of comfort. my friend roger has taken me on as somewhat of a musical apprentice, and he´s teahing me everything he knows about music (which is quite a lot), everything from castellano rock to cumbia to balladas, to guitar lessons! the culture of music has been one of the best surprises that i´ve found in chimbote.

  • there was a pretty big ¨temblor¨ the other day, an earth tremor. julie and i were working at the tb clinic, and all of the sudden, the windows started to rattle and the whole building shook. julie and i looked at eachother with huge dopey excited grins, and realized that the woman we were working with put her head on the table and started to pray. apparently not something to rejoice over...also they were prediciting another big temblor, or even an actual terremoto, an earthquake, last week, but, don´t worry mom, it never happened. but it´s pretty humbling to feel the entire earth move and know that no one is above nature...

  • i went to a galvez futbol (soccer) game last weekend. the team is from chimbote, and it was a pretty cool experience! i was there passing out stickers for an anti-racism campaign with comision justicia social (social justice comission, where jane works). apart from being cat-called every 3 seconds and even gropped by the all-male crowd, i was overwhelmed by the sense of community and the importance of futbol, worldwide. i was thinking about why futbol is often a sport associated with impoverished countries...my conclusion is this--futbol is one of the only sports that doesn´t require any sort of equipment to play. no hoops, no grass necessary. all you need is a flat surface, something to mark a goal, and a ball (which can even be made out of tape and some old newspapers). and it creates a beautiful sense of community in places where often people have very little to rejoice about
  • there has been an influx of gringos in chimbote this past month, and i can honestly say that it has been an interesting challenge...it started with a group of med students at maternidad, and i was so annoyed when their volunteer coordinator just walked up to me and said ¨uh, hey¨ and started talking to me in english! i was at work where i try to only speak spanish and she just assumed that i would be the best person to talk to in order to arrange a volunteer opportunity for the students. she called our cell phone the next day to ask me if it was okay if she sent a group in for the morning. i kind of laughed, and told her i definitely don´t have the authority to say ¨sure, come on in¨. after all, i am still basically a guest there and trying to find my own roll. it was so frustrating that she assumed the gringo would be the person to talk to. i cannot stand that ethnocentric attitude. we are all guests here, and i can´t even describe here how frustrating it was to be confronted with that mentality. then last weekend, there was a big benefit dinner for the hospice, and a large group of u.s. benefactors from minnesota were there. it was so weird to be surrounded by gringos--minnesotans even. and to have that juxtaposed with the desire to spend the entire time with my peruano friends who were there. it is strange to be in a place where i am starting to identify more with peruvians than gringos. and to be totallyembarassed by some of the gringos. for example, one man who obviously was drunk and didn´t speak any spanish, wearing a hawaiian shirt (por supuesto), telling a woman who was selling raffle tickets for 1 s/. (about 30 cents), in english, ¨i can´t, i´m broke now after buying the last ticket from you¨. seriously! i´m trying to not be too anti-u.s. here, and to paint a better picture of ¨americanos¨ but no wonder there´s an international hostility towards us...

unfortunatley, i am running out of internet time here (there´s just never enough!), but i do want updates/life stories/struggles/jokes from you, and i would love to share more personal moments with those who care to know, so please send emails. or real mail! almost into month 3, and those comforts mean so much.

con amor,

corina