Sunday, August 24, 2008

the last goodbyes...

i find myself needing to take a deep breath, and then dive into the next step, headfirst. these have been some of the most challenging weeks of my life, but also some of the most rewarding, and i know this is barely the beginning.

today, as my sister and mom drove off, i was hit in the gut with the impact of what tomorrow will bring. i handed over my cell phone and said goodbye, and in that moment, i realized that it was symbolic of the huge changes that are coming, perhaps faster than i would like...i am being stripped of everything i know (as my friend heidi says, stripped bare), and jumping into a world of unknowns, lack of control, and simple trust. it feels like the first time i went scuba diving--even though i had been prepared and had some notions of what to expect, the hardest part was the moment that i had to slide off the boat, back-first and without looking, into a sea of unknowns, and just trust. and now i relive the feelings of just having enough courage to get out of the boat, and let god explode my every expectation...

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JUMP!!!!

3 comments:

cj said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Heidi said...

ahhh Courtney, know I am thinking of you and praying for you during this time. I'm so proud of you for your courage to do something so challenging right out of college. You truly amaze me.

I hope travel goes well/is going well for you. I can't wait to hear about your many adventures. I'm confident God has plans to use you in awesome ways.

LOVE.

Heidi said...

oh, and p.s. I feel famous being referenced in your blog :)

And, your writing is beautiful. And your honesty. And your heart.

AND YOU!