to everything, turn, turn, turn

two posts in one month?! i´m getting out of control...

• my roommates and i are leaving tonight for ecuador! we need to leave the country to pick up our visas. even though we´ll only be gone for about 60 hours (about 40 of which will be on the bus :( ), i am so looking forward to getting outside of chimbote for a little bit. just to be reminded of the world outside of this city. although chimbote is a city that is well-connected to the outside world by buses and boats, it can feel so isolating...
• it´s so strange to think that i´ve been here long enough to note the changing seasons. just as the holidays role around, and i´m craving the smell of fall and a chill in the air, it´s getting warmer here and the days are getting longer (sunday will be the official start of beach season!). i would be happy if it stayed just like this for a while--a nice spring--hot during the days and cool at night, but all the chimbotanos keep reminding me this is nothing yet. i guess that´s what i get for choosing to live so darn close to the equator.
• today at work, i was chatting with a patient who was waiting to be seen, as well as with one of the doctors. the patient was asking me all the typical questions (who i am, what i´m doing here, how long, how much i miss things at home, how i learned spanish), when the doctor commented on my language ability. he said i only spoke ¨poco poco¨ castellano when i arrived, but he was impressed with how much i´ve picked up. now, i would like to think i came here with more than ¨poco poco¨ (give me a break!), but it was great to hear that others have noted my improvement. i definitely am finding castellano easier, and it´s so exciting when i have an all-around good communication day! i have yet to have a dream in spanish (which you know i have been waiting for), but several times i´ve woken up thinking in spanish, which is such an encouraging sign! pero, poco a poco.
• healthcare. ridiculous sometimes. i have had many frustrating days, where i spend hours folding gauze or rolling cotton balls (no, seriously). but those days are punctuated by some really exciting things that i get to do--actually, i´ve had an awesome week at work. i delivered another baby yesterday! and then today i got to suture a guys head! oh yeah.
• my roommate jane had some visitors here this weekend from the states. we had a great time showing them around and introducing them to all of our friends, but it was so strange to be surrounded by english and gringos again. and it absolutely made me miss my people who know me outside of this context. we went over to our friend alex´s house for a cuyada one night (cuy--guinea pig, remember?), and i was struck with such a weird realization. i am in limbo right now. i am shifting between two worlds, and i´m not exactly sure where i fit anymore. i don´t particularly like the taste of cuy, but it didn´t gross my out to have a little clawed rodent foot on my plate. i didn´t exactly identify with jane´s friends, but then i´m not exactly peruana either. i´m losing parts of my english, but then i struggle with spanish...and as challenging as it is, i just need to take a deep breath, and remind myself of the beauty in this tension.
• i think this is my first thanksgiving away from my family, and that´s really challenging. i know that the entire holiday season will be really challenging for me, and i realize how much i´ve taken some of those typical comforts for granted. i almost miss the chaos of finals and of end-of-the-year stuff. and christmas carols! it´s so weird that i haven´t already been saturated in christmas music! at home, i refuse to listen to christmas music before thanksgiving, but here, i´ve broken my own rule. there´s something so absolutely comforting in the songs that have literally surrounded me since the day i was born, that i can sing in my sleep, and honestly, just feel like they are a part of me (a sliver of u.s. culture that i am actually missing pretty desperately). i´ve been playing ¨o holy night¨ on my guitar, and everytime i do, it´s like a deep breath of something warm and familiar. so, on this thanksgiving, where i ate ceviche and rice to celebrate, a list of things that i am thankful for in this moment:
• music that transcends language barriers
• quiet moments on my roof, usually with a cup of instant coffee
• heart-to-heart conversations in castellano
• the resources to choose to do whatever i want to do with my life
• the ease with which i can travel, just because of the label on my passport
• knowing that i am loved and known, even from thousands of miles away

what is making your heart glad, right now, in this moment? happy thanksgiving.